Project: Insanity Plea Part 18 - Postmortem

I spy with my little eye bat-shit insanity.

It's been a long, bumpy ride but we've at last come to the end of the John Carpenter crazy watch. And what a trip!

Things started off pretty tame with the decidedly uncrazy Assault on Precinct 13. Halloween was only a little bit nuts, but Carpenter bottomed out again with The Fog. Escape From New York broke the mold and earn the highest crazy rating yet, but as Carpenter gained ever more experience as a filmmaker, the craziness steadily declined, hitting rock bottom with Starman. Both Prince of Darkness and They Live were equally bonkers but the completely sane Memoirs of an Invisible Man forced a halt in craziosity. In the Mouth of Madness bypassed all previous outings and rated a 4.5 on the caze-o-meter. A sharp decline was noted in Village of the Damned but Carpetner's final three films, Escape From LA, Vampires, and Ghosts of Mars delivered more insanity.

Apologies for the hard to read graph.

It would appear that Carpenter's craziest film, In The Mouth of Mandess is the turning, or perhaps, breaking point. I argue instead that Starman is in fact what drove the man over the edge, and that Madness tracks only Carpenter's growing, uh, madness. Carpenter's films can be divided into two groups, pre- and post-Starman, and the films on either side of that line represent different kinds of insanity.

Beginning with Precinct 13, the film is completely sane not because of its premise--which is revisited in the unquestionably crazy Ghosts of Mars--but because of its execution. In spite of a few pacing issues, the film slowly builds suspense and its claustrophobic atmosphere suggest that Carpenter may well be a gifted filmmaker. Halloween is a lot crazier than Precinct 13, based mostly on a combination of story and execution. The film's psychology is slightly more complex, and the audience is treated to both the killer his victims' points of view. The Fog is deemed uncrazy because in it Carpenter has resolved the pacing issues that hindered his previous films, and the story follows in a logical and natural order.

Already crazy!

The group of films that follow The Fog, which include Escape From New York, The Thing, Big Trouble in Litte China, and Christine are all half a point saner than the one before it, starting with New York. Here again, Carpenter is displaying his skill as a filmmaker, but the films in this group are all over the map story-wise. New York is crazy mostly because it's total departure for Carpenter. The Thing brilliantly muses on paranoia and isolation while delivering outstanding monster effects. BTLC is a campy Chinese fantasy-type story, and Christine is a straight horror story about an evil car. In each of these films, Carpenter's competence more than anything else is what keeps the insanity to a minimum.

Starman is, again, a departure for Carpenter. He's dealt with aliens before as well as people-out-of-their-element, but Starman is not even remotely close to being genre. Unlike The Thing or BTLC, Starman is a straight work-for-hire gig and the film could have been made by anyone. The lack of crazy is due not to Carpenter's skill but to the distinct lack of anything remotely Carpentery in the movie; Starman could have been made by anyone.

I refuse to post a picture of Starman.

Post-Starman, Carpenter returns to the horror genre with the Lovecraftian Prince of Darkness. The film is undeniably crazy. It's very creepy and has one of the greatest endings ever. Prince of Darkness is followed by the equally insane but tonally different They Live. It would appear that the lull in Carpenter's personal and professional development brought on by Starman forced a growth spurt of sorts. Though Prince of Darkness is extremely well made, this factor alone cannot mitigate the creeping insanity that has pervaded most of Carpenter's films up to this point.

The unfortunate Memoirs of an Invisible Man puts an abrupt stop to the insanity, but Carpenter again bounces back with is craziest film yet, In The Mouth of Madness. To watch Madness is to watch a man go insane, because that is the actual plot. But Madness is crazier than is is strictly necessary and though it too is Lovecraft-inspired, it lacks the polish of Prince of Darkness. Carpenter was not going crazy when he made this movie--he was already there. Village of the Damned could have been another Memoirs, but the combined powers of Carpenter's credentials and craziness prevent the film from being a complete write-off. With the exception of Escape From LA, the final films in the catalogue are very different from Carpenter's equally crazy but earlier films. The boredom or fatigue that seems apparent in Vampires and Ghosts of Mars, might be side effects of a lifetime of Carpenter trying to keep his growing insanity under control.

Disregarding the first three films in his career, in which Carpenter was fitting himself into the genre, examination of the data thus far shows a cycling pattern of mounting insanity, then a bottoming out, followed by a peak of craziness. The point at which he went insane appears to be Starman and not In the Mouth of Madness, though it is his craziest film. The pre-Starman films are all insane, but the insanity is balanced by Carpenter's increasing maturity as a filmmaker. Post-Starman, Carpenter has established himself as director and, with the exception of Memoirs and Village of the Damned, the craziness is expertly and overtly distributed throughout his films. The uneven distribution of insanity across the post-Memoirs group is attributed to Carpenter actually being totally insane.

What more proof do you need? Just look at him!

Project: Insanity Plea Part 17 - Ghosts of Movies Past

Ghosts of Mars

In spite of everything, it's not The Usual Suspects in space.

I saw this movie in theatres. For free. I kind of liked it, even though I knew it wasn't really any good.

It's the 22nd century and Mars is being terraformed. Presently, the population is made up of miners, criminals, and police. Natasha Hentsridge is one such police officer on her way to a mining colony to collect Ice Cube, an infamous murderer. When she and her small platoon arrive at the colony, they find the place empty. A lot of the miners are dead, even more are missing, and a handful of survivors have locked themselves into a jail cell. Eventually, the truth comes out--most of the miners were possessed by the ghosts of the long-dead Martian civilization and turned on everyone else. In an effort to save the survivors, Natasha Henstridge deputizes everyone, including Ice Cube, and they load up on guns as they plan to escape the colonly before they're attacked and killed. The only problem is that once a possessed body is killed, the ghost searches out a new host.

Clea Duvall's in it so you know something bad's going to happen.

Ghosts of Mars is a seige movie and borrows heavily from Assault on Precinct 13. But though Carpenter was a more accomplished, more mature filmmaker in 2001 than he was in 1976, Precinct 13 is actually the better film. Flat, with even pacing throughout and a delivered in a kind of monotone, Ghosts of Mars plods along creating no tension and building no suspense.

The film is framed by Natasha Henstridge delivering her report of events before a tribunal. By beginning the film in this way, we learn, right at the start, that everyone's going to die. That's not usually a problem if the whole point of the movie is to just watch people die in interesting or greusome ways, or to be emotionally maniupated by the filmmakers, but the deaths in Ghosts of Mars are so lacklustre (Pam Grier dies off screen) that the framing story appears to be completely uncessesary. When Natasha comes to the end of her tale, she tells a tiny lie but it is so insignificant that her honesty remains above reproach; at no point is the audience meant to think that Natasha Henstridge is being dishonest, thus there's no room for speculation on the nature of the events that have taken place, which just makes the framing all the more puzzling.

Marilyn Manson meets Boogeyman 3. Juiced.

Another strange move by filmmakers was to make the Mars social system matriarchal. This matriarcy naturally bleeds into the political system, meaning the planet is run by women. I can't for the life of me reason why this should be important other than to give creedence Natasha Henstridge's authority. But since the movie made a point of telling the audience that women are in charge, I'm almost offended by the film's demoting of Natasha by having her face off against some random demon and not Big Daddy Mars. Almost. Because the movie isn't all that good to begin with, I'm dismising the disappointing battle as bad writing.

The most unfortunate part in this sad tale is that Ghosts of Mars had, at its core, a pretty good story: human occupation on Mars discovers an ancient alien planetry defense that turns people into self-mutilating creatures of war. It comments on human nature, manifest destiny, the nature of the soul...I could go on. But the film doesn't quite get there. It also missed out on a good opportunity to deliver a downbeat ending but the film instead ends with Natasha Henstridge and Ice Cube wisecracking before wading into battle.

And oh yeah, there was life on Mars. A whole civilization, in fact. But that's not important. What is important is that this film was likely the gensis for Joss Whedon's Reevers.

craze-o-meter: 3, you'd have to be crazy to fuck this up

Mars camo pants: you can't see him from the waist down.

Project: Insanity Plea Part 15 - Return to Crazytown

Escape From LA

The man can surf fire!

For a long time I claimed that T2 was the perfect sequel. I still stand by that statement, but I'd like to add that Escape From LA is also the prefect sequel but in an entirely different way. Where T2 put a new spin on an old story, Escape From LA is exactly the same movie as Escape From New York.

Exactly. The. Same.

Fifteen years after Snake Plissken escaped from New York, he's back in custody and brought to Los Angeles, now an island where America sends all its rejects. The deal's the same, only the players are different: Snake must retrieve a doomsday device stolen by the President's daughter, which is now in the hands of a dangerous anarchist. He has ten hours to find the device and return to base else the disease now coursing through his veins will kill him.

Not pictured: Bruce Campbell, who's also in this movie.

Escape From LA is a bigger movie than its predecessor, but it's just as campy. Perhaps more so, as Kurt Russell surfs a tsunami through downtown and engages in a hanglide battle. Other than a few production-value related embelishments, the film follows the same plot as the first one, including the random death of a would-be lover, Snake having to engage in athletic competition to save his life, and him getting shot in the leg. The film is so aware of the fact that it's a carbon copy of Escape From New York, characters try to ensure against Escape From LA ending the say way.

But you can't keep a man like Snake Plissken down. And this time Snake makes sure there will be no third movie.

Yes, it's a car covered in doll heads.

Following on the disappointing Village of the Damned, it's hard not to give Escape From LA a crazier rating that it probably deserves. Carpenter is back on form with this one, exploring the same darker territory we've come to expect in his better films. Snake is a great character, completely unrepentant, and the world he inhabits is an oppressive and terrifying theocracy. Though I've argued that this film is exactly the same in every way to the one that came before, I have to say it's also a bit of an improvement. Where the first Escape suffered from a few pacing issues, LA smoothly moves from one scene to the next as Snake tries very hard to stay on mission but keeps running into trouble. Carpenter was a better, more experienced filmmaker when he sat down to Escape From LA, thus one is right to expect a more polished but no less crazy film.

The decision to just remake an old movie, to go with a winning strategy, I think says a lot about Carpenter's sanity. And his balls.

craze-o-meter: 3.5, just as crazy as the first time round, only more

Seriously, don't fuck with him. Just don't.

Project: Insanity Plea Part 14 - Children of the Damned

Village of the Damned

Needs more corn.

This movie is based on both "The Midwich Cuckoos" by John Wyndham and the screenplay for the film made back in the 1960. I thought that was a bit strange, but then again, I can't really remember how the old movie differed from the book. So maybe, this 90s version incorporates elements present in both?

Midwich is a small all-American town. Nothing out of the ordinary ever happens there and life is very pleasant. And then one day, everyone falls unconsious. Six hours later, the townsfolk wake up and a number of the women find, to their surprise, they're pregnant. All the babies are delivered healthy, save one who is stillborn. As the years pass, the children grow ever more strange. They all look alike, are devoid of emotion, and can control people's actions with thier minds. As people start dying, the townies begin to suspect the children, and eventually decide to take matters into their own hands. But the kids can read minds, too, and are wise to their plan.

And they all have the same bad taste in clothes!

Not gonna lie, though the story is pretty nuts, the movie is rather tame. It's not as dull as some of Carpenter's other work-for-hire gigs, but it's a definite step down the crazy ladder. Funnily, this film, more than any other I've watched to date, clearly draws a line between the script's potential and the director's vision. I feel like this film could have been a whole lot crazier, but Carpenter, for whatever reason, didn't pull out all the stops.

I think it's for this reason the movie fails to be any good. It's a bit painful, really, to see all that wasted potential, the lost opportunities. I'm so disheartened that I can't even properly finish this review.

craze-o-meter: 2, oh what could have been, oh what never shall be

Would you trust this woman with your children?

Project: Insanity Plea Part 3 - The Most Holiest of Days

Halloween

Best poster ever.

It's hard to say which movie John Carpenter is most famous for. I mean, it's hard to say for which film John Carpenter is most famous. Halloween is up there, though. Even for people who don't know who John Carpenter is (they do exist, I've met them and they smell funny) they have still heard of or seen Halloween. Rob Zombie's deplorable remakes has helped to solidify the original Halloween as one of the true horror classics for everyone born after 1990.

In 1963 Michael Meyers killed his sister on Halloween. He was promptly locked away in a psychiatric hospital were he's been studied by Dr. Loomis. Dr. Loomis spends 8 years trying to get to know Michael, and then seven more trying to keep him locked up. On the night of October 30th, 1978, a 23 year-0ld Michael escapes and returns to his home town of Haddonfield. While at home, he spies Lori Strode and marks her for death. And so what had promised to be an extremely boring Halloween for Lori turns out to be the worst night of her life.

What does Shatner wear on Halloween?

I first saw this movie a long time ago, and saw it once more after that. I'll admit to having forgotten some of the details, so when I watched Halloween again for the purposes of this project (and perfectly timed, I might add) I had a hard time trying to separate out Carpenter's possible craziness from my own. Simply put, I got scared. Halloween is, at times, really creepy.

The film suffers from the same odd pacing first experienced in Assault on Precinct 13. I'm talking about the prolonged evening and the very sudden change to nighttime, and I believe this is more a factor of weak scripting and shooting as opposed to craziness on the part of John Carpenter. Additionally, the body count is quite low; recall this film helped launch the slasher. Michael Meyers devotes a lot of screen time to stalking and scaring Lori Strode, and again I don't believe this particular story element is representative of a unhinged personality. Rather, Michael Meyers' psychological assault on Lori is quite brilliant. Where later films feature the stalk 'n slash as a perfunctory series of events to repeated again and again until everyone's dead, Halloween draws out the initial and singular stalking of Lori, punctuating it with moments of violence and murder. This not only sets us on edge as we now know what's in store for poor Lori Strode, but Lori too grows anxious as she waits for her mysterious antagonist to finally make his intentions known.

Huh, maybe you would have be a little nuts to come up with that.

Craze-o-meter: 1, nothing I haven't already thought about

Tall, quiet, strong? Yeah you can give him my number.

Project: Insanity Plea Part 2 - Assault On My Patience

Assault on Precinct 13

Powerstrap not included.

Evan Bishop has just made Lieutenant in the LAPD. His first assignment, which is supposed to be either a free ride or a kick in the ass from his chief, is to spend the night babysitting an old police station. Precinct 9 District 13, located in the ghetto, is closing down on Sunday morning but someone still has to man the station on Saturday night. Not long after Bishop arrives, the station is besieged by a vengeful street gang looking to settle a score with either a) the man who killed one of their members, b) the police who killed a lot of their members, or c) both.

Minimalist is the word I'd use to describe everything about this movie. Music, cast, dialogue. Everything is bare bones. Which, I think, ups the tension. You're trapped inside the police station with a handful of people, you have no clear idea of what's going on and whether help will come. There's a kind of purity in the terrifying isolation at work here, though the film is not without its faults. The pacing, for starters, is very strange. Actually, it's quite slow and then, very suddenly, it's the end of the movie. Certain story elements, also, are unexpected and were this film made today, unlikley to have been included. In fact, the movie was remade in 2005 with an altogether more complicated plot.

Mommy, what does "cholo" mean?

I'll admit to having a teeny nightmare after watching. Most of what happened was unrelated to the film, but there was this one moment when people were milling about outside. I didn't know why. And you know how dreams are, you remember two things happening at once, so though the people were hanging about, they were also running past, frightened, terrified even and again I couldn't understand. This part of my dream I believe comes from Assault (I watched it right before I went to sleep). While everyone is holed up in the station, the gang runs around outside. The police, of course, and you also, have no idea what they're doing, and it's a bit scary so see them run like that. I took this feeling to bed with me and the organized chaos of the street gang mutated into a panicked flight in my dream.

Craze-o-meter: 0, uncrazy

I just sold my last vanilla twist!

Project: Insanity Plea Part 1 - The Set Up

Someone once told me they knew somebody who had this theory John Carpenter's descent into madness can be tracked through his movies. In fact, he said you can pinpoint the exact moment when he sheds the mantel of reality under which he's been languishing, and fully embraces bat-shit craziness.

Problem is, I can't remember when that was. So I have taken it upon myself to find out. Using all my skills as an archaeologist with a film degree, I will dig through the artefacts of the man's creative output and find the moment that represents Carpenter's divorce from logic and rationality. Beginning with Assault on Precinct 13, I will watch, in chronological order, all films made between 1976 and 2008.

Will I go crazy in the process, abandoning all reason and succumbing to the overwhelming power of the man's illogical rhetoric?

Who's watching who?

Insanity Plea

Here you will find links to Project: Insanity Plea, sometimes referred to as "The John Carpenter Crazy Watch" on TheAvod. Someone once told me you could track Carpenter's descent into madness through his movies, so I took it upon myself to watch all his movies to find the breaking point.

Part 1 - Introduction
Part 2 - Assault on Precinct 13
Part 3 - Halloween
Part 4 - The Fog
Part 5 - Escape From New York
Part 6 - The Thing
Part 7 - Big Trouble in Little China
Part 8 - Christine
Part 9 - Starman
Part 10 - Prince of Darkness
Part 11 - They Live
Part 12 - Memoirs of an Invisible Man
Part 13 - In the Mouth of Madness
Part 14 - Village of the Damned
Part 15 - Escape From LA
Part 16 - Vampires
Part 17 - Ghosts of Mars
Part 18 - Postmortem